Moving To Australia? 15 Reasons To Change Your Mind

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Australia looks like a cool place on television. But, don’t be fooled. Every day, Ozzies are attacked by all kinds of deadly wildlife in the middle of their biggest cities! So, the next time anybody suggests a trip Down Under, show them these 15 reasons why Australia is a terrible place to live or to visit, whether you’re a Backpacker Bloke, or a Fair Dinkum Sheila….

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Obviously, The Sharks

And not just the Great White. Other species of shark patrol the shore, so much so that Ozzies affectionately call them “Wobbegones” as they take a dip. Bloody Clackers!
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This…

Is an earthworm. Sure, it’s not deadly. But, it’s an EARTHWORM…
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Centipedes Are HUGE

And, poisonous. Not just bee sting poisonous. But rattlesnake poisonous… sometimes. And, they’re everywhere!
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And…

They eat snakes! ‘Nuff said…
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Did We Mention Snakes?

Apparently, giant pythons fall out of ceilings while you’re picking out a new outfit for Missy. Don’t forget to ask for a ceiling snake discount…
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There Isn’t A Bug Spray…

Strong enough to knock these “bities” off the toidy roll. Much less kill them…
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The Crabs…

Are as big as Dingos! But, they’re handy as hell around Thanksgiving for cracking nuts…
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Don’t Try The Octopus…

Unless you like your calamari laced with deadly venom!
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The Ticks…

Are REALLY hungry. The really weird thing? Australia has no indigenous deer. So, where did the ticks come from? It’s another Down Under mystery…
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The Jelly Fish…

Are as big as beach blankets. Which are, strangely enough, more dangerous in Australia too, btw…
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Mother Nature…

Is a biatch too. Even the Australian WEATHER can kill you when hailstones are as big as billiard balls…
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Tornadoes…

Can CATCH FIRE. Well, at least there’s no sharks in them. Wait…
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Backyard Crocs…

Are great for keeping burglars away. And the mailman. The milkman. The kids…
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And, They Do Tricks…

If you look closely, this one is even missing a flipper. Just like the captain…
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And, Finally…

Did we mention Great White Sharks? In summation, if anyone offers you a trip to Australia, just chuck a sickie!
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Bonus Tip

Flying sharks. No, really. It’s no joke. Stay away. Just kidding! A trip to Australia is awesome. It’s coming back alive that’s tricky…
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